National Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Whoever is in charge of marketing for the National Breast Cancer Association is doing an unbelievable job. Seriously. I am really fucking aware of breast cancer. It is top-of-mind 24x7. I give myself examinations every half-hour. And I'm a dude.

I didn't even know October was Breast Cancer Awareness Month until I saw the now omnipresent pink ribbon on the outside of Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia before the Redskins-Eagles game on October 5. [So now February is Black/African-American History Month and October is for breast cancer. And of course December is yule. Are any other months taken? When is Blow Job Month? I'd where a ribbon for that.]

Then, Laura Bush, in a fetching pink ensemble, lit the White House pink one night. The Bank of America tower in Miami followed suit. When watching La Liga Mexicana de Futbol on Univision, I noticed that all of the soccer balls are pink this month. It's not just national. It's international! I can't escape it anywhere. The property manager of my apartment building felt compelled to post something about the Race For the Cure on Saturday.

It's turning me into a one-issue voter. I will make my choice between Obama and McCain on where they stand on breast cancer. How aware are they?

Well done, cancer-mongers. Well done. Where do I send the blank check?